I'm beyond sorry, kiddos

So, there's a possibility that since I grew up in an abusive household, I'm going to have toxic traits. This is what I gather about what determines how people turn out.

I turned out to be a people pleaser. Your grandpa was very abusive to Grandma, myself, and without knowing it, your uncles. I was newborn to now (18) when this happened, but it was at it's worst when I was between 0-10. I didn't have much freedom, or bad influences at those ages. As a baby, if someone is yelling, you NEED someone to hold you and comfort you. I hardly ever had that. I looked for people who could do that, but I also didn't really have people to cling to, I was always alone.. maybe that's why I'm so mature.

My middle sibling, Uncle Keaton, he was probably between 7-17 when it was bad. He was to the age, where if he were in public school, he'd probably start acting out, being the class clown. Well, now he's just the family clown that clung to the only thing he knew at the time, school. Doesn't quite know his social cues from the abuse and lack of friends. When things got bad, he did schoolwork to block it all out.

The oldest, Uncle Christopher, he was probably between 10-20, when this happened. He was cared for as a baby, loved, got a great education without distractions, but when things got bad, he wanted something to get rid of it, numb the pain, you know where this is going. He was popular guy jock that everyone loved, and knew how to throw a rad party, and get away with drinking underage. Eager to get out of the house for college, and never come home after he left.

Kids, I'm so sorry if I've damaged you in anyway. My sole life propose is to give you guys the best possible life. I'm only 18, but I'm so excited to some day meet y'all. I'm excited to teach you, guide you, love you, and most importantly tell you about God. The one you can always turn to, even when things get rough, and seems like there's no way out.

Love you so much more than words can say,
Mom